no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
