OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
