hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
