the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
