dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
