He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
