apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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