I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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