you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize