I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
