Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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