I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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