i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
