I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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