True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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