just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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