Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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