you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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