I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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