wrigley field is MILF paradise
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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