He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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