i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
