Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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