i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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