Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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  (403): I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness. http://tfl.nu/0zt1
  Replies (8) Good night (846) Bad night (2011)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!

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  (651): Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST! http://tfl.nu/a9dw
  Replies (14) Good night (574) Bad night (2729)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets

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  (207): there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets http://tfl.nu/n8se
  Replies (23) Good night (1667) Bad night (8325)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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  (816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44
  Replies (23) Good night (1608) Bad night (5456)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Not even marginally surprised

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  (765): He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family (812): Not even marginally surprised http://tfl.nu/oyoq
  Replies (8) Good night (3428) Bad night (2111)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.

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  (815): just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays. http://tfl.nu/2pfb
  Replies (7) Good night (2469) Bad night (780)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.

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  (585): He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working. http://tfl.nu/9caj
  Replies (8) Good night (4666) Bad night (828)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!

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  (845): Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE! http://tfl.nu/hm6x
  Replies (7) Good night (1240) Bad night (976)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Except there is my pee all over the walls now

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  (413): Except there is my pee all over the walls now http://tfl.nu/crd6
  Replies (11) Good night (626) Bad night (1755)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.

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  (541): I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do. http://tfl.nu/nqe0
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (843)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.

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  (715): I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall. http://tfl.nu/slbi
  Replies (0) Good night (595) Bad night (361)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?

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  (828): Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner? http://tfl.nu/gvms
  Replies (6) Good night (847) Bad night (514)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night

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  (618): It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night http://tfl.nu/2or2
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (352)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?

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  (832): If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me? http://tfl.nu/3f6r
  Replies (5) Good night (641) Bad night (366)
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  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  So what did you do since you didn't go out?

  (517): View more from Michigan

  ...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.

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  (1-517): So what did you do since you didn't go out? (517): ...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight. http://tfl.nu/04s7
  Replies (0) Good night (505) Bad night (196)

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