Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
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Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay