My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week