About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire