Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

if i can run in heels then i can drive

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Her vagina smelled like chicken

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

why do you say that

(605): View more from South Dakota

chicken smells like everything

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(618): View more from Illinois

i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(718): View more from New York

it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Omg that was my second thought of the morning.

(802): View more from Vermont

First was that we had pop tarts.

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(224): View more from Illinois

alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now

(1-224): View more from Illinois

It's five in the morning. wtf?

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