it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.