Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

I can't breathe out the right side of my face

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(646): I can't breathe out the right side of my face http://tfl.nu/2qbr

Replies (5) Good night (757) Bad night (2006)
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(812): View more from Indiana

dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.

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(812): dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere. http://tfl.nu/598l

Replies (20) Good night (675) Bad night (3970)
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(727): View more from Florida

Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.

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(727): Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America. http://tfl.nu/b8jy

Replies (36) Good night (7107) Bad night (1366)
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(807): View more from Ontario

I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.

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(807): I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order. http://tfl.nu/8dgh

Replies (9) Good night (918) Bad night (5165)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.

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(715): apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night. http://tfl.nu/2r4z

Replies (6) Good night (4298) Bad night (837)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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(865): In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly. http://tfl.nu/9uwy

Replies (10) Good night (768) Bad night (4185)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans

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(484): you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans http://tfl.nu/5hx4

Replies (7) Good night (3124) Bad night (784)
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(518): View more from New York

Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.

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(518): Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend. http://tfl.nu/xnkx

Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (1237)
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(713): View more from Texas

Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made

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(713): Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made http://tfl.nu/mjv4

Replies (3) Good night (2038) Bad night (573)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem

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(330): Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem http://tfl.nu/va1i

Replies (10) Good night (1604) Bad night (636)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.

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(613): Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar. http://tfl.nu/3xxn

Replies (1) Good night (1537) Bad night (1096)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.

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(573): Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing. http://tfl.nu/j85g

Replies (8) Good night (924) Bad night (452)
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(760): View more from California

Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.

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(760): Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/5xwv

Replies (5) Good night (590) Bad night (351)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"

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(918): The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo" http://tfl.nu/4ubw

Replies (3) Good night (408) Bad night (241)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.

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(501): Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay. http://tfl.nu/a936

Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (414)

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