Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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