I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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