he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
