I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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