U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
