Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
there is glitter all over my balls
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize