adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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