omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
