Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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