I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
