Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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