Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
