dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You took a bar mat shot.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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