Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
