she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize