That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
