Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
