This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
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They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize