erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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