i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
