What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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