I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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