He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
