Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
