he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
