I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
