I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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