My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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